Ants Have Sex in Your Beer by David Shrigley

By David Shrigley

This all-new number of David Shrigley's addictively unusual and interesting paintings unearths clean, unsettling truths and concerned amusements in a layout that welcomes the uninitiated and rewards the trustworthy.

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In other words, berry picking is the agricultural equivalent to a private liberal arts college. It's no surprise white people like it, because much like a liberal arts degree it feels like you've done real work when you really haven't. Of course, the easiest way to turn a profit with this information would be to start your own fruit-picking farm. But that is only looking at the small picture. It is well established that all white people enjoy doing manual labor under watered-down and expensive conditions.

Many of you might be familiar with the process of harvesting a crop. " Under these conditions, laborers are expected to work extremely hard in order to live up to large expectations about their fruit-picking output. " Under these conditions, white people are expected to work leisurely with no real expectations and then pay for the privilege to do so. In other words, berry picking is the agricultural equivalent to a private liberal arts college. It's no surprise white people like it, because much like a liberal arts degree it feels like you've done real work when you really haven't.

Secret Shame Once enjoyed a meal at the Red Lobster in Times Square. Funny or Ironic Tattoos When you think about tattoo parlors, it conjures up images of sailors, gang members, hepatitis, and spring break. All of these are things that white people do not like, except for sailors, but that only counts if they were sailing before Vietnam. Yet in spite of this, more and more of the right white people are getting tattoos. But do not make the mistake of thinking that white people like all tattoos. In fact, they loathe a great number of them, including • anything with an American flag or eagle • references to military service • tribal armbands • white heritage imagery • faces of children, spouses, or dead people • tattoos with more than one color For a white person, getting a tattoo is a major step in their life since it presupposes that their taste at this given moment is good enough to sustain them for the rest of their lives.

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